9-12-2013

9-12-2013

Actual time in USA is 9-11-2013.  We just received news that Grandpa Beddes passed away this morning at 10:40 am.  Tonga time 5:40 am.  I just want to post a few of my  feelings about the happenings of the last week.  Although I have been a hospice nurse for many years, and have attended the deaths of many of my best friends, this is by far the hardest.  And just because I knew what was happening since I have talked to Sally nearly every day for the last week, I have been able to see my dad in his various stages of dying and have felt the pain that goes along with watching a loved one die.  I have felt my families pain and I have seen my dad.  The only consolation I have at this time is the last visit that Steve and I made before we left, is the words we shared and the hug I gave dad and saw the tears in his eyes when we talked about him coming to share our mission with us.  Dad lived a good life, he worked hard, taught us well.  He and mom shared many wonderful and  some not so wonderful years together.  They were a team and we as children knew that.  I didn't want to get on his bad side, because I knew he meant what he said, mom was a little softer at times.  I remember the times, we got to go with him to irrigate in the early mornings out to Virginia's place, a magic place for me because it was so beautiful, almost untamed, with a favorite pond that had a fallen tree over it that we could climb on and dream.  We loved all of the unexplored places that we could run.  And of course, the horses were there.  We loved that and following Dad around when he did the irrigating.  I remember one time, when we were with Dad and he told us not to get in a pasture where there was a bull in with the cows.  We decided to get into the barn and in the process had to climb through a fence to get to the barn.  Of course we didn't think about the bull, we just needed to get to the barn.  I remember Dad yelling at us, seeing him take off at a run, get across that fence in a flash and get between the bull and us.  I think the bull was dragging a chain hooked to a ring in his nose.  I don't remember much more than that, but that dad had a hold of that bull and the cussing we got.  We paid attention to the bull and to Dad after that.  Another thought that keeps coming to mind.  Connie and I always loved to ride the horses, but we always wanted to ride the horses like real cowboys with saddles and not like Indians.  Dad would never let us ride with a saddle, told us we would learn to be better riders if we rode bareback.  Maybe he knew about all the times we rode in the water.  We also had to be able to catch and bridle the horses in able to ride.  We learned a lot of lessons about riding from dad, especially when he would put a broom under their tails.  Lots of fun.  Many more memories are coming, but I will write more later.  I love my dad and mom and will miss him greatly, but I certainly know that he is busy now and enjoying his life of work.  He won't be sitting around wondering what to do, he will just "get to work".