Firsts...12-23-13

Firsts!

Today as I am thinking about the firsts in our lives I have to go back to the days and probably weeks that Steve and I were contemplating serving a mission.  That would be a first for me; our first being away from our family, our ward, our country, our security blankets of home and all that was comfortable. We definitely had no idea of what we would be facing, but the best consolation prize was the fact that we had each other to lean on.  That was the one sure thing that we knew, no matter what, we would have each other.  So we braved the new world of firsts in Tonga, the first glimpse of our Tongan home, the heat, the humidity, the sun, the sky at night with the stars that are in the wrong places, no familiar constellations, fruits  that we could pick from the trees in our yard.  The first pictures that we keep taking of the ocean, waves, sunsets, clouds, flowers, faces.  It seems like we have taken thousands of the same things, but they are still firsts, because they are ever changing and there is no way to determine which is the most beautiful.  The first new friends, the feeling like we had really just come home, a new wonderful adventure  and we are  just starting.

Tonga, what do I say about that?  The first thing was the people, who had brown faces and big hands.  I remember the first temple session we went to in the Tongan language and how nervous I was until, I sat in the endowment room.  Then everything was the same. We had to wear a head sets to follow along with the language that was dear and familiar; the love that I had felt previously when attending the temple.  The language was different; the only difference in the people was the color of their skin, but not the feeling of love.  I felt the same when we were called to officiate in the temple.  That has become the high light of our week, getting to meet those wonderful temple workers.  It may be the same the world over, I don’t know, but I do know that the Friendly Islands were labeled that by someone who knew the Tongans.

The next first was the food.  I’m not quite sure how to describe that, other than some of the firsts here were not so easily adjusted to.  We are actually starting to like the Kumala, taro is ok, the raw fish is a maybe if you don’t think about it being raw.  Some is very good, some not so good.  Octopus, when you don’t know what you are eating was really pretty good, until I got to the tentacles, then that was a no go.  We have had desserts made from Taro that are really good, could be because it was made into a cake and smothered in coconut, kind of like the topping on German Chocolate cake.  I love that so the cake worked for me.  We love the fruit, watermelon, pineapple, bananas, mango, (papaya which we make jam from) and of course, coconut.  I love the juice from the coconut (young coconut that has not ripened, great when cold), Steve doesn’t like it so much.  We have learned how to shell the coconuts, and can even extract the coconut from the ripe coconuts, then the coconut milk can be extracted from the shredded coconut.  That is also really good to drink.

Shopping is an adventure of its own.  We have learned that if you see it and you think you might need it, you had better buy it.  We have learned many hard lessons that way.  I don’t love shopping, never has been a favorite activity.  Market day is an adventure.  We have had to learn when to go and when to stay home.  Tongans don’t know how to drive, so that in itself is an adventure.  Yesterday, Steve made the comment, that driving on the wrong side of the road seems right to him now.  I’m not quite as sure of that as he is because I still have to occasionally remind him to get on the correct side of the road.  We have found our favorite bread store that has delicious cinnamon rolls, coconut bread and cinnamon bread.  We have found new favorites, Panini bread which is like a long hotdog bun and ciabatta bread that is like unleavened bread, coarse and chewy.  You have to put a lot of peanut butter on it to keep the jam from dripping through the holes.  Everything is priced at $3, the amount that you get varies item to item, time of year, supply and demand.  We eat lots of Salsa because we get so many tomatoes for $3.  The hard part is there are limited amounts of corn chips, so we have adjusted to eating potato chips with the salsa.  At least we are getting our vegetables that way.

Another first is having missionaries come and go.  We’ve found out firsthand what it is like being the newbies on the block, then experiencing the first couple to leave the mission field.  We felt so bad to see them go because they were so good at their job. We hope to be like them. So many firsts. The first home evening, the first time in a Tongan ward, the first time hearing them sing.  The first music lesson, the first fruit basket that was bigger than our kitchen table, the first radio broadcast that then extended to video, the list goes on and on.

Exciting firsts that just came our way was Steve being accepted as an adjunct faculty member of BYU Hawaii, which means he can now teach his faculty, and I mean his teachers that he has grown to love,  teachers courses for credit towards their degrees.  He is pretty pumped about that.  He has a lot of great ideas that he is ready to get started on after the Holidays.  We experienced the first government shut down for the Holidays, they started, or should I say stopped business, on the 20^th and don’t return to office until January 6.  Luckily the banks still stay open but business does not go on as usual.  We don’t know what ramifications that will bring, we will just have to wait and see.

We’ve experienced the passing of dad, being so far away and knowing the end was coming for him, the grief and yet the solace of knowing that he was finally free of his body that was keeping him trapped.  We’ve also felt his spirit with us at times and have prayed for his spirit to be with our loved ones in times of need.  We experienced the pulling together of our family, the great feeling that was.  But we’ve also experienced the shattering of lives because of choices made that has left all of us floundering, trying to figure out who we are and what we stand for.  But through it all, we have found that Heavenly Father is very aware of each one of us and what is happening in our lives.  Even though we are thousands of miles away from home, we know that He is mindful of us all, even if we are not aware of that or choose not to believe. Times can be rough, but they can also be very good, we have to choose our course. 

President Monson gave a talk in October at the general Relief Society meeting.  The first counselor in our ward taught it Sunday, not knowing why she was prompted to teach it.  There are a few things that CAUGHT my attention because I had been praying for the words that were given.  The title was, “We Never Walk Alone”.  As I sat there listening, all I could think was, this lesson is for me and I could feel the spirit testifying to me that I was not alone, that Heavenly Father was aware of my concerns, had heard my prayers and he was talking to me. “…Though reverses come, in prayer we can find reassurance, for God will speak peace to the soul.  The peace, that spirit of serenity, is life’s greatest blessing.” (Ezra Taft Benson)  That phrase spoke to me.  “We are not placed on this earth to walk alone… We have the promise: “Pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good.” “Difficult as it may at times be, it is for us, as well, to trust our Heavenly Father to know best how and when and in what manner to provide the help we seek.” “Not my will, but thine, be done”.  This was the first time in the last several weeks that I felt that Heavenly Father actually heard my prayers and he sent a message to me through someone else who was following the spirit of inspiration to teach a lesson.  I am very aware of the heavy spirit of contention that Satan brought to us for a short while, but I am also very aware that Heavenly Father’s light can come to all of us and it will drive away Satan’s darkness.  Satan cannot win.  I am also well aware that I cannot fix anybody but myself.  We all have choices to make.  My choice to make, is to follow the promptings of the spirit, to know that Heavenly Father loves us all individually.  I can’t think of a better first gift to have at this time of year than to know that Heavenly Father loves us.  It truly is the best gift to have, to know that He loves us, He sent His son.  That I can testify of. 

Last and probably the hardest first is being away from home at Christmas.  It doesn’t feel like Christmas without snow, cold, and family close.  But we do see Christmas lights, hear carols sung and see Christmas trees lit up on porches.  We also see a frantic last minute shopping frenzy happening on this small island.  Traffic does line up and I think all of the people on the island have migrated to Nuku`alofa to shop.  There are impromptu parades, parties, loud music and lots of ice cream.  No party is complete without ice cream. We still have many missionary activities, games, movies, lots of food, even a puzzle to put together on Christmas day. We feel the love and concern of those in our same position, but we all have the same thought.  We miss our children, our grandchildren and in our case, great grandchildren and the things that go along with families.  We are so grateful that you are getting together as a family in our absence.  We need to know that you are united.  Blake and Tristan, we know this will be hard for you, but know that we love you and your children, we will be thinking about all of you.  This is an important time to start your own family traditions.  Our first Christmas will be hard, but we all get to make more new first memories that will last a lifetime and beyond.  We love all of you.  Kilisimasi Fiefia